And so, it begins..... again.

this week, I had the strange feeling of having my free will ripped from me for a period of 2-3 hours.

Well, maybe thats a bit strong. more like i found myself, after a string of random occurrences, having to make a decision, which wasn't really a decision. more like reality, the universe, god, 'the secret,' my subconscious, my inner child, my conscience, whatever you want to call it, telling me which i will choose, that that choice is the choice i will make, and the consequences are a part of my life.

I stood in the bookshop for close to 30 minutes, looking at the book in my hands, realising all of this, wondering how this was possible. 'what if I don't read this?' I asked this feeling (in my head obviously, i'm not that mad yet) and it seemed to laugh at the question, and asked 'what do you mean? you already know you're going to buy it and read it. reread the blurb again, but its not going to change. this book has the information you've been looking for, for a very long time, at any given opportunity. are you really going to just walk away, now that it is right here?'

I went through the stuff that had brought me there that morning. an appointment in the city, that had been cancelled as i made my trip, without me realizing. 'maybe on the way back i'll look in a bookshop,' I thought as i left.
then I had to get petrol. after that, and getting on the Highway, i could smell petrol, and a lot of it. I got off the highway, and stopped at a park. there was no more petrol smell. I left, deciding to go home the slightly longer way, through strathpine.
I saw the bookshop that I ended up going to, but too late. I whizzed past that one like I did the other ten or fifteen I'd seen on the way home. until a truck changed lanes very close in front of me, and braked very suddenly, and very quickly to a stop, right next to a carpark. I turned in there to avoid the truck, and then decided, what the hell, i'll go to that bookshop up the road. its not too far a walk.

I got in there just in time to hear the bookshop owners friend telling her about the book i was now thinking about buying. As I walked in and looked for the section I always look for, I half heard their conversation. A few key words and phrases, until I realised what i was hearing.
 It couldn't be. I had been looking for something like this for years. i found bits and pieces, but never something that put it all and more together. I guess, to find out, I had to ask.
So I did. I asked about the book, who wrote it, really any question i could think of. How she had heard of the book (she is training to teach yoga, it was part of the reading list), etc. I read the blurb, those annoying quotes that say how great the book is, the preface and the introduction of the author.

As I heard and read more, I knew I had to, and wanted to, read this book. Of course I had a choice, but then again I didn't.
none of these events were huge signs screaming, 'get this book,' but they didn't need to be. they are not the reason I got the book either. It was the feeling I got as I held it in my hands.
some people probably scoff at the idea of Gods plan, fate, destiny, the Pattern of the Weaving of the world and/or the idea that the intrinsic nature of Free Will is the very thing that shows it to be an illusion and that all actions great and small therefore contribute to some vast, imperceivable and predetermined higher process.
But, no matter what you think, when you hear the Call, you would have to be either incredibly ignorant or insane to ignore it, Because it will just get stronger, and harder to ignore.
And it'll seem awfully quiet when it finally gives up.